Boobs

I’ve never had a high degree of social skills or sense.  But even so, I can imagine that it is bad form to write about one’s wife’s boobs.  But nevertheless, I have found the notion of bra fittings to be somewhat amusing.  My late wife, Linda, (it’s somehow less threatening to discuss my late wife’s boobs) her sister, Kathy, and I (why I was included in this I can’t remember; perhaps it’s because I had never been in a Victoria’s Secret store before) went bra shopping for Linda.  I remember feeling a little embarrassed by being the only guy in Victoria’s Secret, but I was also intrigued by all the options.  I had no idea how challenging it was to get a bra that fit, that’s why they employ professional bra fitters.  It occurred to me that line of work might be more enjoyable than what I was currently doing and that I might possibly be quite talented in that particular area.

But before my imagination could explore this line of thinking further, it was time for Linda’s appointment.  She and her sister went with the professional fitter into a little room.  I started to follow and was politely encouraged to wait outside.  That seemed quite unnecessary to me.  After all, I was fully acquainted with those particular body parts, but I suppose there wasn’t really room for four people in that little fitting room.  So, I amused myself with all the lacy things surrounding me.  Suddenly there was laughter coming out of the fitting room.  Kathy was laughing, Linda was giggling, and even the professional chuckled a bit.  Now I was very curious and thought that surely there was enough room for four of us, but I’ve also gotten the “eye” before, and the “eye” can be quite frightening, so I remained among the lace.

Linda had six sisters.  None of the sisters were particularly busty, but if you lined all of the sisters up by bra size, Linda would always be on the short end of the line.  It is fair to say she would never pass the “pencil test”.  How do I know about the pencil test, you ask?  Because my current wife, Virginia, recently had a bra fitting and even though I wasn’t invited, she explained the pencil test to me.  There is so much to learn, even at age 74.  Out of extreme fear for my own personal safety, I think that is all I can say about that.