Part 21: Delicate Art of Husbandry

“You can’t always get what you want.  But if you try sometimes, you find you get what you need…” – Rolling Stones

The fine, delicate art of husbandry is not as easy as it looks.  Consider the challenge of fashion choices.  “Are you ready to go?”, asks my bride.  “Almost.  I just need to brush my teeth”, I say.  “Wait.  You’re not wearing the same clothes you were wearing when you were working in that manure patch you call a garden?”  I thought you were in a hurry?”  “I am.  But you aren’t coming dressed like that.”  “Fine, I’ll change out of my boots.”  “Try wearing what you wear to church.”  “Should I wear that napkin thing on my head, like you do?”  “It’s not a napkin, it’s a mantilla.  And no, it’s not for men.  Women are supposed to cover their heads.”  “So, God likes men’s heads better?  Is that why men are supposed to take their hats off in church?”  “It’s just a custom and I haven’t worn a mantilla in years.  Stop being a smart-ass and go get dressed.”  “Why would God care what we wear?”  “It’s a sign of respect.  Go get ready.  He probably doesn’t care that much about what you wear.”  “Wait.  Are you saying God is a man?”  “Huh?”  “You said, ‘he’.”  “Jesus was a man, therefore God is a man.”  “But if God is a spirit, how do you know he has gender?”  “Go get changed.  The Bible refers to God as a male.”  “Does God have man-parts, then?”  “You know?  You are sick and twisted.  Go get ready.”  “Ok.  I’m going to put my man-parts in a pair of clean jeans.”  “Don’t be playing with those man-parts.  Let’s go.”  “I like my man-parts.”  “You like your man-parts way too much.  Hurry up!”